A Recent Realization

Not long ago I was having a conversation with one of my oldest friends about life and in this discussion he said, "Morgan, you can have whatever you want". Immediately, I answered somewhat bitterly that I couldn't have whatever I wanted and I had proof of that. There are things that I want in this life that I just can't have. I don't know the reason and in some cases I probably don't deserve to get what I want. Now, don't get me wrong I am not complaining. It is just interesting to me. There are a lot of things that I want for my life, good things even, that will just never happen. I can accept that. But sometimes it is hard and sometimes I don't understand. Lately, I have been thinking a lot about this conversation. I know what I want but at times I am unsure how to get there. I love my life and marvel at the opportunities that I have had so I don't want to sound ungrateful, but its true. I have struggled recently feeling guilty or stupid for wanting more, but I feel justified. I want good things, I want challenges, I want growth just in a new way. I was reading recently in one of my favorite chapters in the scriptures and came to an interesting realization. The Lord was talking to Nephi(son of Helaman) and told him that all would be done according to his will. This blessing of having every word he said fulfilled was given to him because the Lord knew that he would do nothing that would go against the will of the Lord. It hit me that its true, I can have whatever I want, but I have to make sure that what I want is what the Lord wants as well. Of course, that is what I have always wanted but it is not always so simple. So for now, since I am not getting what I want right now, I have decided to do all I can to really seek out what the Lord wants for me. In the process, I know I will find greater peace and hope in the sadness or disappointment that comes with not getting what I want right now. I am just glad that there is someone much smarter than me, and He is in charge. It is just going to take a little more humility to accept His will.

Real Life or a Movie?

Have you ever sat back examining your life and thought, "Wow, this would make a great movie!". I love looking at my life and adding my own soundtrack to it but lately I think this might be a hit at Sundance. With a beautiful location for shooting, I see the film full of funny quirks, drama, unrequited love, great friendships and pure comedy! I must mention that of course, life is life. I work full-time, so I am not a beach bum, even if I want to be, but I do have it pretty good down here. I live on the beach, just taking out the garbage is great because of the great view of the pacific ocean. I get to go jogging on or along the beach without hassle, I can go to Disneyland after work, and last weekend I went out on a beautiful yacht with a lot of good looking people. (If you want to hear a great story, ask me in person about the crazy porn star on the boat next to us.) I am still adjusting of course and finding my place here, but so far, its great! This is where I need to be. It definitely won't be easy but then again, easy never sells on the big screen!